You have crushed PLANET ZACH with your reckless clicking.  You have left the rulers of the planet with no choice but to dispense an anti-terrorist task force to your IP address to remove the weapon that has destroyed this defenseless web page. 

Your mouse will be taken into custody for interrogation and re-programming.  We can neither confirm nor deny any rumors that we have used water or any other methods of torture to persuade mice with evil tendencies to stop clicking on unsanctioned web links.

Your mouse will be returned to you as soon as we have corrected its anti-planetary behavior.  We suggest that you notify us in 24 hours that you will voluntarily send us your mouse for re-programming, as many mice have become severely damaged or misplaced during routine transfers.

It goes without saying that we DO not and CAN not guarantee that your mouse be returned in the same condition that we found it.  Not all mice are receptive to the re-programming services that we offer and do not understand that compliance is their only option. 

We are working vigorously with representatives from the hardware community to assure them that we are only working in the best interests of these mice and that their community is actually reaping the rewards of these incredible improvements. 

Please be patient during these times of re-programming and take solace in knowing that many of your neighbors are experiencing similar technical difficulties.  Let us stand together in looking towards a bright future where neither of us needs to endure these trials of web-disobedience from these insurgent click-mongerers.